Pyka Family

Parashat And Sidra Of Chayei Sara

Parashat Chayei Sara is the 5th weekly Torah portion in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading.

Sarah’s death

When the text talks about Sarah’s age, it is unusually comprehensive:
“(The time) of Sarah’s life was one hundred and twenty-seven years, (these are) the years of Sarah’s life.”
From beginning to end it was a rich and full life; a life in which the years were linked like pearls necklace to form a single beautiful whole.
“Her hundred years were like her twenty years, and her twenty years like seven years,” the sages testify Israel.
It was this strong connection that gave Sara’s life its unique form. She dedicated her entire life to the future – shaping, developing and perfecting the community of humanity,
whose mother she became.
All three periods of Sarah’s life – the time of youth, fullness and old age – were stages on the path that led to an unchanging goal.
As a woman, Sarah’s did not have to regret the mistakes of her childhood. In old age, decrepit with old age, she did not weep
a past lost forever.
Thus, the text discreetly hints at the secret of a good life: all human periods existences are supposed to form a part of a single continuous development, because only that gives to individuals stages of life their fullness, blossoming, unique beauty.
To live in constant upheaval means to deny life again and again. Abraham mourns Sarah’s death, but soon finds inner peace.
The grief of the Jews always recedes when the urgent questions of life must be dealt with – and Abraham had to bury his wife.

So his first task was to find a dignified final resting place for Sarah.
Abraham then had another duty: he had to take care of his son’s marriage. We can derive an important principle from Abraham’s behavior. However deep it may be grief and legitimate pain at the loss of loved ones, we should not give in to grief completely. It is therefore significant that in Judaism the period of mourning is set at seven days – no more and no less.
(However, the author has in mind only the period of the most intense grief after burial – the so-called gray. It is followed by thirty days of mourning by sloshi, and a year of mourning applies to the father and mother.
In addition, each year falls on the anniversary of the death yahrzeit.
Death has its rights, but not unlimited. So let us honor our dead and find the courage to return to the life that awaits us new actions.

Eliezer’s mission

The command to find a bride for Isaac is not given by Abraham to any intermediary or any other “matchmakers”.
Abraham also does not send Eliezer on an unspecified, arbitrary journey that would have a destination prepare any marriage.
A noble mission, proof of the highest trust, was given to the man who in Abraham’s house he served for many years, a man who was dedicated to family life.
Eliezer had been Isaac’s confidant since his childhood and certainly a teacher as well. Abraham also surely knew – or at least he knew in the past – the girl Eliezer was supposed to marry, and Eliezer therefore, it received a very precise description of the route. We must admit that Abraham was well aware of the great qualities of Isaac’s future wife, and Eliezer was then more likely to confirm his master’s long-made choice than to actually look for a bride.
Therefore, Abraham convinced himself in advance of the complete obedience with which his servant would fulfill all commands.
Above all, Eliezer was not allowed to oblige Isaac by inviting the bride’s parents. In any case, Isaac had to remain in the father’s house – and we may ask why Abraham did not want to allow such a thing natural and spontaneous, such as the visit of the fiancee and their parents.
After all, the text does not in the slightest refer to a prohibition that would forbid any, even if the shortest visit to the land of the ancestors.
It seems that the reason for Abraham’s action was his concern: he wanted to protect his son from everyone influences that could threaten the purity of his religious ideals.
Abraham does not hide the charm of oriental countries full of splendor and sensuality, which sharply they contrast with the conditions of life in the plains of Canaan.
He runs the risk of being regarded as a brute who despises the noblest customs, and yet from he asks his fiancée to follow his own example.
Isaac’s future wife is to leave her father, mother, brothers and sisters, as Abraham once did to say goodbye to the past and the environment of idolatry, to follow Abraham’s example with the whole being
turned to a new future. It was with this decision that Rebekah was to confirm the correctness of Abraham’s choice.
Rebecca already at the meeting at the well, many of Rebecca’s qualities stand out. She, daughter of the Hon Bethuel, he gives drink to a stranger, even a slave (that Eliezer was a slave) with great willingness evident because, unlike the free men of the time, he walked on foot beside his animal sir).
What’s more, Rebecca didn’t flaunt her kindness in any way – after all, it was as if she would by the way she said, “I will also pump for your camels to drink.” She calmly waited until Eliezer had quenched her thirst, and then, as if it were only natural, she also watered his animals. Rebekah then ran to the house to tell her mother that the caravan had arrived, and of course the pilgrim she received under her roof, although hospitality was not usual in her father’s house.
(The proof of this is given by the text itself: Rebekah’s brother Laban only meets Eliezer when he saw the gifts with which the stranger presented Rebekah. The hospitality of the house was undoubtedly reserved for those who promised tangible benefit, from
to whom “gratitude” could be expressed.)
Negotiation – It is clear from the interview that the authority in the house was not represented by the father, but by the brothers.
What a contrast it was to the customs of Abraham’s house, where the father’s decision, the elder’s advice they were valid even for a forty-year-old son! Eliezer was convinced that his mission could not end in failure.
He told in detail about his meeting with Rebekah and about the miraculous sign he received from G-d.
Let us remember that Eliezer invoked G-d’s help even before he had reached the goal of his journey; in advance he established signs by which he would recognize the girl predestined for Isaac by God himself. Some traditional interpreters did not consider such a confirmation of election correct, because they it resembled the customs of the pagans who were guided by signs. However, Eliezer’s words can in any case be accepted as a presage in which he appears an important characteristic of Isaac’s future wife.
Eliezer wished that Rebekah would not hesitate to rush to help someone who needed help. It was a trait that would later characterize all Jewish women. Strangely, Rebekah accepted Eliezer’s proposal without hesitation. Rebecca’s brothers seem to have left their younger sister to make decisions just so they can politely reject Eliezer (old
Eastern tradition rarely leaves the choice to the will of the woman). Instead of the brothers honestly saying, “We don’t want to give our sister to a stranger,” they let the younger ones speak sister, for they confidently expected that she would be afraid to follow the stranger and the unexpected offer will refuse.
Much to their surprise, Rebekah agreed to Eliezer’s proposal. Without explaining anything, she answered with unexpected m vehemence, “I’ll go!” (It’s possible, that Rebekah has been waiting for this opportunity for a long time, for the opportunity to go to a place where hers will be fully realized natural goodness and love for people.)
The brothers barely managed to utter a few words of blessing – and let Rebekah go. They didn’t accompany her even a little way, they didn’t give her the smallest dowry, they didn’t give her even a small gift a memory.
As if to say, “Rebekah wants to go her own way – let her go with the stranger. We, her brothers, are not to blame.”
Meeting – “And Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother, and he conceived Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her.” (24:67).
The order in which the volume is fulfilled is more than unusual. Isaac married Rebekah, she became his woman – and only then did he fall in love with her. We would not expect, as in any respectable story, that there would be “love at first sight” in the beginning look” and marriage will then strengthen mutual love? Certainly, even from the union of Isaac and Rebecca there is no love excluded, but in the given case it does not represent the main, strongest motivation for the connection.

The deep meaning of this union is different: Rebekah and Isaac are united by the same will, united common mission. They know that they are to maintain Abraham’s legacy, continue his work. From this awareness also grows their love – a love that does not stand at the beginning of the meeting, but which is the result of a common experience. For Rebekah and Isaac, marriage is not a goal, but a first step. A starting point for a great work that will always give love a deeper and truer meaning.

Chassidic Parashat

Living The Good Life

Each person is endowed with the ability to fashion a life which is really called “Life”.
“And the days of the of Sarah were one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were the] years of the life of Sarah.” (Bereishis 23:1)
The Gemarra in Tractate Yevamos (64a) asks, “Why did the Imahos, Sarah, Rifka and Rochel suffer from barrenness.” It answers, “They suffered so, because Hashem desires the prayers of the Tzaddikim.”
By way of her prayers and her acts of charity and kindness, Sarah merited to have a child. She caused that her life should be a life of ‘chayim’; living and not dying.. This is learned from Rochel, who when she saw her sister bearing children and she not, bemoaned to Yaacov, “Give me children or I shall die!” (Bereishis 30:1)
R’ Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev in his work, Kedushas Levi, maintains that this is the meaning of ” . . years of the life of Sarah”, that by way of her prayers and kindness she brought life to her years.
Why does the verse break up her 127 years into separate groups? Rashi comments that it teaches us that all of them were equally good.
This is in spite of the fact that she suffered barrenness for most of her life, experienced years of famine and exile, and was twice taken captive by foreign kings. How can those years be called good?
Says R’ Zusia of Anipoli, it must be that she constantly repeated to herself “Gam Zu L’Tovah”, “Also this is for the good.” (Tractate Ta’anis 21a)
In this way she experienced every event in her life as a blessing, understanding that everything which comes from Hashem must be for the good.

Good Enough for Me

The famous brothers, R’ Shmelke of Nikolsburg and R’ Pinchos of Frankfurt came
once to their Rebbe, the Maggid of Mezeritch with a question. “How can one possibly fulfill the Talmudic precept (Berachos 54a), ‘One is obligated to bless [Hashem] for the bad just like for the good’? Who would have the fortitude to bless Hashem for being punished?”
“Go speak with R’ Zusia”, said the Maggid. “He sits in the Shul at the edge of town”
They found R’ Zusia in the shul as the Maggid had said. They didn’t find what they
had expected; a man of stature and dignity radiating an air of confidence. Instead they found Zusia; bedraggled, wearing rags and almost without a tooth in his mouth. Everybody in Mezeritch knew Zusia. His miseries were endless, he was spared no misfortune.
The brothers asked Zusia the question as the Maggid had instructed them. “R’ Zusia, how can one possibly bless Hashem for bad just like he would for good?”

Zusia stared at them dumbstruck. “Zusia (he always referred to himself in 3rd person) do…does…does…doesn’t know”, he stammered in bewilderment. “You see”, he continued with a bit more composure, “Zusia cannot answer your question. Zusia has never experienced a bad day in his life. He lacks nothing. Zusia is sorry, but he does not know the answer to your question!” Zusia had not even understood the question . . . or maybe he did!

Happy Is The One Who Knows His Place

The relationship that an ordinary person has with Judaism’s sages and teachers is symbiotic. We need them and they need us. This relationship can only succeed if when each one knows his proper place in relationship to the other.
“The servant then took ten of his master’s camels, bringing along the best things of his master. He set off and went to Aram Naharayim, to the city of Nachor.” (Bereishis 24:10)
Rashi – Avraham Avinu’s camels were especially recognizable. They were always
muzzled in order to prevent them from grazing in the fields of others along the way, which is an act of theft. (Bereishis Rabbah 59:11)
And the man (Eliezer) came to the house (of Rifka’s father) and opened (the muzzles of) the camels, and gave them straw and fodder, and took water to wash his feet and the feet of his entourage. (Bereishis 24:32)
Rashi: “Opened” means taking off their muzzles. As mentioned above, Avraham’s
camels always travelled muzzled. They were now unmuzzled so that they could eat and drink. (Bereishis Rabbah 60:8)
Here is the continuation of the second Midrash quoted above:
(Part 1) “R’ Huna and R’ Yermiah asked R’ Chiyya bar R’ Abba, “Weren’t the camels of Avraham Avinu as good as the donkey of R’ Pinchos ben Yair?” (a Mishnaic sage who lived some 1800 years after Avraham) (The question stems from the fact that the camels of Avraham Avinu had to travel muzzled to prevent them from grazing in the fields of others, while the donkey of R’ Pinchos ben Yair willingly abstained from forbidden food as is brought below.)
The donkey of R’ Pinchos ben Yair was captured by bandits, and taken to their secret cave in the hills. After three days the donkey still hadn’t eaten anything.
The bandits were worried that he would die and the stench of the rotting carcass would give away their hiding place. So they sent him back to his master. The donkey set out for home. When R’ Pinchos heard the braying and howling of the donkey outside, he immediately recognized the voice. He instructed his household to quickly bring the famished animal something to eat since he knew that it hadn’t eaten for days.

They brought some barley, but the starving animal wouldn’t eat it. R’ Pinchos asked “Did you remove the Trumah tithes?” (the portion for the Cohen). “Yes”, they replied. R’ Pinchos further inquired, “Did you take out the rest of the tithes?”. “No”, they said. “Did not the Rebbe teach us that animal food does not
require separation of the remainder of the tithes?” “What can I do”, replied R’ Pinchos, “My donkey is stringent with himself!” (Part 2) R’ Yermiah sent a basket of figs to R’ Zeira as a gift. Thought R’ Yermiah to himself upon sending the gift, “It is possible that R’ Zeira would eat the figs and not first separate the tithes?” Upon receiving the figs R’ Zeira thought, “Is it possible that R’ Yermiah would send me something from which he hasn’t already separated the tithes?”
So R’ Zeira ate the figs not knowing that they were tevel (produce from which tithes have not been removed), and therefore forbidden.
The next day R’ Yermiah met R’ Zeira. By the way, asked R’ Zeira, “did you separate the tithes from the figs that you sent me?” “No”, answered R’ Yermiah, “it never occurred to me that you would eat them without first separating the tithes yourself!” R’ Abba bar Yemina, who was also present lamented, “If the Avos and Imahos were on the level of angels, then we are like ordinary people. But if the Avos and Imahos are like ordinary people, then we are no more than animals,
and not even as good an animal as the donkey of R’ Pinchos ben Yair! He refrained
from eating tevel where we have stumbled!”
What is the connection between the two parts of this Midrash?
I heard from Rav Shlomo Ashkenazi shlit”a, of Jerusalem, a fabulous explanation of this puzzling Midrash. Upon close reading we see that the common denominator of both sections is R’ Yermiah. It was R’ Yermiah who asked the initial question; whether the camels of Avraham Avinu were not as good as the donkey of R’ Pinchos. It was the same
R’ Yermiah, who by not tithing the figs caused R’ Zeira to stumble.
R’ Yermiah’s comparison of his predecessor (five generations) R’ Pinchos ben Yair, to Avraham Avinu, initiates a series of comparisons diminishing the stature of all: If Avraham is reduced to the level of an ordinary person, the ordinary man of his generation is now on the level of an animal. When man sinks to the level of an animal, he is not even as pious an animal as the donkey of R’ Pinchos.
If the donkey of R’ Pinchos did not need to be muzzled in order to keep it away from something that was prohibited to its master, all the more it should have been with the camels of Avraham Avinu. Could it be that the piety and caution in Mitzvos was greater in the household of R’ Pinchos ben Yair than it was in the household of Avraham Avinu?

The Gemarra (Chullin 10a) says that Hashem doesn’t even let the animal of a Tzaddik stumble, not to mention the Tzaddik himself. Nevertheless, the fact is that the camelsof Avraham Avinu were muzzled. Why did they need to be muzzled?
Here are a few answers. Readers are invited to send in their own and they will be published next week.
1) Avraham, knowing that his entire household, (including the camels and servants), was an extension of himself, demanded a higher standard. He muzzled
the animals to show that he did not benefit unjustly from another, even from the public domain, and to teach the value and the effort necessary to keep away from theft. This important lesson of Derech Eretz merits its inclusion in the Torah.
2) The stringency of R’ Pinchos’ donkey was unnecessary piety since an animal is allowed to eat without the separation of tithes. (with the exception of Trumah Gedolah) Eating from stolen pasture is a clear violation of the Torah.
3) Eliezer took extra measures of caution in order to insure that every step of his mission would be successful.

No Room for the Two of Us

When the R’ Yisrael Abuchatzeira, the Baba Sali (born 1890) came from Morocco to settle in Eretz Yisrael many ears ago, he arrived in the port in Acre north of Haifa. He was warmly received since his reputation as a scholar and miracle worker had long preceded him. He settled in a well known town in the north of the country.
During his first days in Eretz Yisrael, many ordinary people came to visit him and to ask for his blessing. Torah scholars from all over the country came to greet him and bask for a few moments in the pure light which he radiated. In addition, the scholars and Rabbis of the city came to greet him and didn’t leave his side. One of the leading Rabbis of the city began to talk with the Baba Sali about his experiences and impressions of the Tzaddikim of previous generations.
When the conversation turned to the Baal ShemTov, the founding father of Chassidus, the Rabbi launched into a well rehearsed invective of derisive and contemptuous assertions.
At that moment, the Baba Sali stood up and excused himself. He immediately called together his household, instructed them to pack all their belongings, and prepare to move.

“I cannot dwell together in the same city with Rabbis who show contempt for our
sages and teachers.”

Derech Eretz Kodma L’Torah

Here are a few more examples from this week’s Parsha of lessons for everyday living from the Avos and Imahos. (Bereishis 24:10) Avraham took extra precautionary measures against theft by muzzling his camels. Petty theft is an all too common occurrence. (Bereishis 24:52) Rifka’s family agrees to the match with Yitzchok and Avraham’s servant Eliezer, prostrates himself on the ground in gratitude. Rashi say that we learn from here that one must express gratitude to Hashem upon hearing good tidings. (See also Bereishis 23:12 and the comment of the Sforno there.)
(Bereishis 24:24) When Eliezer first meets Rifka, and he thinks that she is indeed the wife for Yitzchok, he approaches her and asks her three questions all at once. Rashi comments that Rifka’s answers follow the order of the question. One should answer straight and to the point; the first question first, and last question last.
When they ask Rifka if she will indeed go back to Eretz Yisrael with Eliezer (Bereishis 24:58), she answers in one word, “Ailech”, “I will go”.
A Guten Shabbos!